Was it the post-op medication?
To many, I have committed a huge fashion faux pas. To others I have joined a much-maligned club.
My sin? I’ve bought something that looks like a pair of Crocs.
Even worse, they’re not even the real McCoy.
I’ve always thought Crocs are for kids, fisherman and high end, prestige designer labels who still attempt to make them a fashion du jour.
I never thought I would use the words “crocs/plastic clogs” and “purchase” in one sentence. But I can now, because I have done exactly that.
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Like millions before me, I’ve never been a fan of these easy to wipe down plastic clogs. (The legit ones come with air holes in them.)
This sartorial confession isn’t about inverted fashion snobbery. Or trying to make up with the shoe style that many of us have bagged out for years.
I just have never liked how they make feet look flat, fat and Mickey Mouse-like. And I wasn’t fussed on the whole fluoro situation either.
Among other things, I have been a style editor and commentator for much of my working life, and no doubt part of the loud mouth brigade which has bagged them out over the years.
But I have had a plastic clog epiphany.
The reason I bought them — a mock-Crocs style at Aldi for $4.99 (reduced from a crazy $5.99) — wasn’t to make some kind of fashion statement. Nor was it reverse snobbery.
In fact, it was purely a practical one.
I tumbled down a ski slope and stopped just a little too hard a few weeks ago and managed a grade 3 tear of my ACL — the mega ligament which pretty much keeps your entire leg supported from the knee. So, it’s a pretty important little rubbery band component.
If I was a serious sports person, I would be “out for the season”.
The last thing you want or need when you’ve had the injury and reconstruction operation are shoes that need any effort to put on.
These little babies tick all the practicality boxes. They are flat, they are internally fluffy and my foot slides right in with no real effort made on my part or on behalf of my knee.
Sure, I won’t be wearing them with my go-to tuxedo, which is my usual black tie uniform, but they have been a very good friend for a few weeks. And have seen many wears already — taking the garbage out on chilly and rainy nights a case in point.
As the owner of these half-arsed, flip-flop, plastic moulded clogs, I love the detachable “sheepskin” lining so they can keep your winter tootsies amped up to warm. And you can wash the woolly insert too.
On another note, did you know that in 2018 the original Crocs brand sold nearly 60,000,000 pairs of the shoes globally? That’s a mighty lot of plastic (eeeekk) and a mighty lot of “croc-ing” going on.
Designers like Christopher Kane, Maison Margiela and Balenciaga have all been there. All collaborated with Crocs and included their interpretations into their fashion collections.
But not quite with the $5 price tag.
A very fashion-minded friend of mine, who is an avid retail watcher (she scours the likes of Aldi and Kmart like she’s in the Easter Show show bag hall and will remain anonymous) told me all about her furry-lined, slip-on Crocs-like find.
Her “discovery” could not have come at a better time.
The initial intention of Crocs, or anything Crocs-inspired, was about practicality. The wipe down ease of them. The total anti-fashion-ness of them.
They’ve become the shoe that some will wear just to say “up yours” to the fashion establishment.
And with freedom of speech one of the most important sociological issues of our time, I reckon wearing a pair of Crocs has become a sartorial sign of something similar in the fashion world.
Although I say that with trepidation because there is still a time and a place for certain pieces of clothing.
The crazy killer Crocs brand — once deemed only suitable for young kids heading off to the beach — has now become a sign of practicality, of pop culture, of style (of sorts) and design.
Okay, calm down. My $5 pair will not be seeing an outing every day — but boy, when you have just torn your ACL and have limited movement, I have never met a better and warmer slip-on shoe to take outside or hobble down to the shop.
And while July IS anti-plastic month and sustainability is on everyone’s mind (particularly in the fashion industry) at least I can take some comfort in knowing that I actually bought them in June.
I mean, if American singer and rapper Post Malone (aka Austin Richard Post) can do an exclusive Australia-only collab with the authentic Crocs brand and the exquisitely dangerous Villanelle (played by Jodie Comer in brilliant binge series Killing Eve) can wear them and still look okay, I say, “Why not”?
Melissa is the entertainment and style editor-at-large at news.com.au. To see if she commits anymore fashion sins and proceed to defend them follow her on Instagram and Twitter | @melissahoyer
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